I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
