i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
foreskin is a definite game changer
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
