when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
