went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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