is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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