I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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