Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Randomize
