I bet he comes in French.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
