You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
