i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
