I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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