There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
