thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize