I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
