Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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