Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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