She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
