I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
