.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
