My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
