I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
