Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
