sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
