the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
