Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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