oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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