just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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