Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
