Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
