I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
