This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
