I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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