i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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