She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
