drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My vagina just clenched in fear
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
