It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
