He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize