She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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