saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
