Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
