just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
