I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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