I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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