So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
