Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
its liver damage thursday
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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