i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
