just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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