You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
