I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
