She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
