I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if only i could text you this smell
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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