I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
