I just saw a hot homeless man
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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