It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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