I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
