how can u be prego again
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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