Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think my fart just growled at me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
