I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
