So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
