chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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