let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
