he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
