evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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