batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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